Top of Mind – Gut Feeling

Kindly answer these questions (in your mind):
Q: What is your favorite color?
A: …

Q: Who is your closest friend?
A: …

Q: What do you want to do in your leisure time?
A: …

Is it easy for you to answer those questions? It would be, if you answer it spontaneously.
Usually, there will be one object that pops into our mind firstly, leaving all other things behind, things that catch up with it after we give the question more thought. Our top of our mind’s answer to the question usually reflects our tendency towards particular issue at hand.

Yesterday, a good friend of mine who is working in a consulting company asked what he should choose from the three options in front of him – continue working as a consultant, or join a start-up company and help develop the business, or join a transformation project aimed to restructure a national company. He has done the pros – cons analysis of all three options. The first one will give him more experience/exposure, although he does not quite like the field he’s going to be assigned into. The second gives him the opportunity to know more about raising a relatively small company, but does not provide the prestige that the consulting firm might give in his CV. The third options, if successful, will prove his capacity of change management, with the barriers is the political aspect which often exists in conventional company.

What do you think he should choose? Which option will you numbered as no. 1, 2, and 3?
 …
 …
 …

The way we numbered it shows our tendencies. The gut feeling is telling us to embrace the one that we will more likely enjoy. My friend also has his own tendency, to choose the one that aligns with his long term objective (although he said that he’s open to all).

Now, why do we start ignoring our gut feeling and letting our brain take over, in the expense of our heart suffering because we do not choose the real path that our heart tells us to?

Have the physical and rational things take over our feelings?

Weekly Writing Challenges

Do It Everyday?

Whether you’re planning to write journal, or read a book, or just exercising, DO IT ROUTINELY.

Have you ever had hard times when it comes to regularly hitting the gym or picking up your notebook and write?

If yes, perhaps it happens because we are not accustomed to that particular activity, that we have not made the habit of doing it religiously. In her post Best Advice: Make a Habit of Something Every DayGretchen Rubin share the best advice she ever got: “You should write practically every day.”

When I read her post, I wonder if there are things that I might have left just because I have not mastered it, or things that I do not pursue because I am not good at it.

We want to live with No Regret, so let’s get to know ourselves and then pursue our list of goal(s). Do it regularly, daily if applicable, and give it some time. If it turns out to be our passion, great! If it does not, even greater! Next experiences to get ourselves into!

Some would say that we don’t have enough time to do all the thing we have to and would love to do. Well, we don’t. But, we can choose to do what matters to us, those particular activities that will help us become closer to achieving our goal(s).

Oh, if you’re planning to make eating fatty burger daily, be sure to balance it with some work out. Or simply change it to less fat burger?

 

In response to Weekly Writing Challenge: Object (the object I used here is our daily activities)

Bite of the Day

Personal Truth

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Being different is commendable, not a point of persecution and isolation.

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Treasure

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Long ago, there was this birthday celebration of my friend and me.. Coincidentally, this girl in grey and I have same birth date!

Looking back now, I was so consumed by daily tasks that I didn’t even remember until just now that we captured these photos back then..

Have you ever treasured a moment, but cannot seem to recall it back? Maybe your old photos and friends can help bring it back.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Treasure

No Regret

“… They say just grow up, but they don’t know us. We don’t give a f**k, and we’re never gonna change …” This part of Avril Lavigne song is still playing in my head..

The lyrics reminds me of the times I had not pushed myself enough to pass through the voices, the voices in my mind that were built from the experiences I’ve had (read my previous post: Stop and Be Still).

How many times have you surrendered to the conditions you are in, to follow the environment even if you don’t feel right? How many times have you fought back and stand your ground?

We only live once. Of course we do not want to waste it by doing something most people (or more adult) think is silly/useless. But, isn’t not-following our own original voice the biggest waste, that we live that life although we are not in-sync with it? It would have been better to fall times and times again in our own life, the one we choose, the one we live with no regret.

So, be BOLD, do what your heart asks you to do. Be your true best-self. Let’s live together with no regret!

Write, instead of think/talk..

I’ve spend many days talking about how I feel. Glancing through pingback of Weekly Writing Challenge: The Sound of Silence:”The sound of … | How to write a memo”, an idea popped into my mind.

Some people spend their days talking about their thought/feeling. For some of us, it’s hard to analyze our own feeling when we think/talk about it as we might tend to get into vicious cycle, where our thought/talk bring us to more branches of possibilities without structured framework. Some may even arrive back at the start of their opening thought/talk. We may conclude that we’re lost when we’re in that situation.

Now, how if we try writing our thought, instead of just thinking/talking about it? Will we be able to structure our own thinking and eventually avoid the vicious cycle of thinking process?

Stop and Be Still

Stop. Stop thinking for a moment. Then, read this post. 😉

pitch black

When was the last time you tuned out outer world and just listen to your inner voices?

When was the last time even your inner voice discourage yourself from being fantastic?

I know a friend who was trying to shut out outsiders’ discouraging opinions about her, either it was that her dream job was unreachable, that she will need a long time before trying that career out, that she was not fit for the job, and so on. She excelled in doing so but still has not reached her dream.

Staying away from the discouraging opinions from others may help us being more confident of ourselves and enable us to take a leap of faith. However, sometimes the enemy is not on the outside. It is inside. It is our own mind.
Have you ever heard yourself saying “I cannot do it”, “It is out of my league”, “I am not cool/brave/smart/etc. enough”?

It is a lot harder to break through boundaries made by ourselves than it is to eliminate outside voices. It is because our own opinions are by-products of our experiences, of what we did and what we learnt from others, since we’re little up to now. Count the years and you’ll see why it’s harder to beat the enemy inside than it is to beat the enemy outside. Compare this: someone suddenly said that you are dumb (while you know that you’re smart) vs. you said you’re dumb (while others never said so). Which one do you think will stay in your mind longer? For me, it is the latter.

I can think of two methods on how to defeat our own mind. One of the methods is by being mindful. The other is by asking our dear and respected ones what they see in us.

Method no.1, being mindful, is when we attend to everything we do; being focused. An interesting approach to mindfulness is covered by Chade-Meng Tan in his Search Inside Yourself. To have our own mind supporting us, we need to know when the mind is not supporting us. By then, we will have the power to analyze the condition and “fix” it. Try to find some time when we could sit freely, free from any worrying thought, being quiet inside. Let our mind wanders (if needed, ask our mind why we have negative thought about ourselves). While doing so, always be aware of what our mind. By practicing more, we will be able to recognize our mind’s pattern and let our negative minds go.

Method no.2, listening to our respected ones, needs us to be quiet, to be receptive of the good or not-so-good input. Although I believe they will try their best not to hurt us (if we have some areas that need to be improved), we will still feel slightly hurt when someone said something bad about us. The purpose of this activity is for us to know our own blind spot as we cannot see ourselves 100% objectively. There are always some spots recognized by others that we have not realized yet. There might be some strength that we have not realized yet!

By doing both methods, we are building virtuous cycle for ourselves. We look positively at our own experiences while we seek good quality opinions, from ourselves and others, to enable ourselves of having great experience.

Note:

In response to Weekly Writing Challenge: The Sound of Silence

Kindly give comments, of how I could improve my writing skills (the topic, the way I deliver my short opinions, etc.).

Thanks,
David